I have tried the Grapefruit diet, the Cabbage diet, Adkins diet, Calorie Counting Diets, No Fat diet, bodybuilding diets, and even religious diets starting as far back as high school. Various factors led me to jump from one fad to another. Unfortunately, fad diets of our past can cost us repercussions that last a lifetime.
Kate was never overweight in her life. She was a normal, healthy farm girl. In February of 1977, Kate witnessed the heartbreaking death of her brother. Cameron was working underneath his 1969 Oldsmobile 442. The jack slipped, and the pipes trapped him. A trucker randomly driving by, adrenalin rushing, lifted the car off her brother. Kate courageously performed CPR until the paramedics arrived. Kate was only 20 years old, Cameron 24.
Five months later, understandably so, Kate was still very upset about her brother’s death. Frequent thoughts continued to barrage her about how she could have saved her brother. Tagging along with this immense grief came tremendous guilt. Guilt turned into condemnation, condemnation into unworthiness, then thoughts of I’m fat started to creep in. Ripped apart inside, her thoughts of dieting became an internal form of self-destruction, a penance to pay. She felt if she dieted she was sacrificing something on her brother’s behalf.
At the time, an Eat Only Raw Vegetables diet was popular, and the only raw vegetable she liked were cucumbers. Eating cucumbers day and night for days on end, Kate developed colitis, which progressed to ulcerative colitis. By 1979, she was on prescribed bland diets, while the ulcerative colitis kept getting worse. With diarrhea all the time, and four out of her five feet of bowel ill, she was told her bowel could potentially perforate soon. The decision had to be made to have an ileostomy. To this day she survives without her large intestine.
Tormenting lies and guilt told her she deserved to be sick. It was not until 1991 that she learned the truth that God was a loving God, and it was not His desire for her to be sick or punish herself. Her brother’s death was not her fault, and God did not want her to suffer anymore anguish. Once that truth was finally revealed, Kate’s mind was finally at peace.
Penance for Inadequacies
It is too easy to carry a backpack full of rocks labeled guilt, anger, or shame—or is it? This is a load we were never meant to bear. Condemnation loves to bring an I have to punish myself mentality. If in the past, you carried a load of condemnation and followed suit with thoughts of I deserve to be fat, that is a lie you do not have to take ownership of.
We never, ever, need to punish ourselves! Our loving Heavenly Father does not want us to punish or hurt ourselves—EVER! I am a living example of mercy and grace. I had an abundance of skeletons in my closet, but I know without a doubt God loves me so much He wiped my slate clean from every wrong thing I have said, done, or thought. “I will forgive their wrongdoings, and I will never again remember their sins.” Hebrews 8:12 is a truth meant to set our mind at ease.
Matters of the Heart
We do not know what pains others secretly bear. Only God knows the matters of a person’s heart. Hence, there can be many underlying issues contributing to severe dieting or overeating. But, when God’s healing truth exposes the hurting places in our hearts, healing and restoration can take place.
‘Never judge. The heart of man is so delicate, so complex, only its Maker can know it. Each heart is so different, actuated by different motives, controlled by different circumstances, influenced by different sufferings…Bring each heart to Me, its Maker, and leave it with Me. Secure in the certainty that all that is wrong, I can set right.’
God Calling, May 13