Rejection has two good friends named insecurity and shame. Once rejection spits its slime at you, insecurity and shame is close by breathing down your neck. Our past experiences do have an impact on us, however, we have the power to choose how it is going to affect us and for how long. It is in our power. Yes, we are human and we have feelings. Pain is painful, but how long are we going to let it have control over us?
God sent a man of the cloth to reveal truth to me (Chapter 3 – Skinny and Fatty), to remind me of God’s immeasurable love for me, and how important it is to love myself. It had to be a choice I made. I could have told him no and that opportunity would have been lost forever, swallowed up in my insecurities.
I hated the prison of insecurity and self-hate so much more than my fear of revealing my weaknesses, that I let him escort me out of my prison. It was a choice, an opportunity to be set free, and my choice to make. I can share truth with you, but ultimately once you know the truth, the ball is in your court. What are you going to do with it? I hope and pray you chose the truth that you are a cherished woman, a woman of dignity, and worthy to be loved and respected. Chose to let go of the familiar lies of the past that steal, kill, and destroy your well-being and how you feel about yourself. Those lies are not yours; don’t keep them.
Pain and Humiliation Exposed
A husband cheating on his wife is definitely the manure to cultivate a woman’s insecurity. I know rejection. I know the humiliation that tags along with rejection and insecurity. During my husband’s indiscretion, we were invited to a work party at a coworker’s home. Although, I did not see the other woman, I knew she was there. My husband left me for some length of time as he rendezvoused in the basement with the woman who wanted my life. Graciously trying to keep face, I continued to socialize with my husband’s coworkers until his return.
Ladies, I can’t change or reverse the pain or the shame felt in your past. But, I do know each and every one of us has a secure future when we set our eyes on God, and the truths He lovingly pours out in His Word. We can be healed from the past. We may not forget, but when we choose to forgive, the junk from the past does not have a grip on us anymore. Yes, life should be easier. It always seems like work. However, we win when we don’t give up, and we do the right thing.
Now some of you may be thinking, why didn’t I just divorce him? The Bible gave me permission to do that, but remember in Chapter Six (Feel Good Experiences vs “Real” Good Experiences) my driving force to save my marriage was that I was not going to let the enemy of my soul or some other woman take my family. I was willing to fight the battle the right way and determined to win. Everyone is different, has different backgrounds, experiences, and tolerance levels. Do not condemn or shame yourself if you had a different outcome.
God Calling, May 13, Never Judge
Never judge. The heart of man is so delicate, so complex, only its Maker can know it. Each heart is so different, actuated by different motives, controlled by different circumstances, influenced by different sufferings.
How can one judge of another? Leave to Me the unraveling of the puzzles of life. Leave to Me the teachings of understanding. Bring each heart to Me, its Maker, and leave it with Me. Secure in the certainty that all that is wrong I can set right.