Starting the last week in April and all through May, I started feeling unexplainable pain in different areas of my body, which even woke me up at night. Was it my port site? Was it the result of the chemo type drug in my system for almost four years? Whatever the cause, I couldn’t make it stop! On top of the pain, thoughts that were not my own whispered, “you have ___ disease, you have more cancer, you’re going to die…” I’d like to invite you into my personal journey during this challenge, and let you know God does care about the details in our lives.
I repeated many times, “I don’t know what is going on.” The various pains came out of nowhere. Then this scripture came to mind, “Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” Yes, that is exactly what I am experiencing—something strange. Now I had to choose to get my head out of the surprised what’s going on mode and ask God for wisdom.
“If you need wisdom—if you want to know what God wants you to do—ask Him, and He will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. (James 1:5)
Proverbs 2 says, “For the Lord grants wisdom. From His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of good sense to the godly…and you will know how to find the right course of action every time.”
“Your hand will guide me…Your strength will support me…You chart the path ahead of me, and tell me where to stop and rest…How precious are your thoughts about me, O God!” (Psalm 139)
Sometimes the questions of “why?” are not answered. Maybe that isn’t the important question to ask, but instead we should ask for wisdom for the right way to deal with our circumstances. God desires to have a close relationship with us, that He eagerly waits for us to talk to Him. As you read a moment ago, His Word promises that when we ask for wisdom and guidance He will “gladly” tell us.
The longer I experience life, and the realization that God actively partakes in my life, I do not believe in coincidences anymore. Especially when I live by the principle in God’s Word that says, “Every good thing comes from our Father above.” And from my God Calling devotion, October 5:
“Every meeting not a chance meeting, but planned by Me. All blessed. Not only now, in the hour of your difficulty, but from this time forth and for evermore. Led by the Spirit, a proof of Sonship. ‘As many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God,’ and if children then heirs—heirs of God.”
Do Your Best to Not Worry About Anything, But Pray About Everything
After the fiery ordeal scripture came to mind, I tried my best to release any anxiousness about my situation and pay attention as guidance unraveled. Through a series of events and perfect timing, God gave me direction. I believe with wisdom comes a gut instinct, discernment, or God’s spirit nudging me. I have learned when God is dealing with me, and I am on the right path or making the right decision, I have peace of mind. But if a thought comes with adrenalized anxiety, it is never from God. I also have to keep reminding myself, “Do not worry about anything, but pray about everything.”
“When you look to Me for guidance My hand is laid upon your arm, a gentle touch to point the way. When on mental, physical, or spiritual weakness you cry to Me for healing, My touch brings strength and healing, the renewal of your youth, the power to climb and strive. When you faint by the way, and stumbling footsteps show human strength is waning, My touch or the strong and helping hand supports you on your way. Yes! My children, My touch still has its ancient Power, and that Power is promised to you. So go forward into the future bravely, and unafraid.” God Calling September 29
In a process of my own logical elimination, I went to see my surgeon and had an x-ray and ultra sound— everything came back negative. I sent a couple of e-mails looking for answers—no leads there. Had an oncologist appointment, they wanted to add another drug to my system. Something doesn’t feel right about that choice. I’ll pass.
Perfect timing, I started walking with a dear friend who works for Motivate Personal Physical Rehabilitation. As we walked, she talked about all the wonderful services the therapist provided. This is not your typical PT-OT clinic. These therapists are experts at pin pointing the source of pain and providing appropriate, beneficial treatment. Had I not started walking with my friend, I never would have known this service was available. With my surgeon’s referral, I am receiving treatments for chronic neck pain.
Now going for therapy, during two separate appointments with two different occupational therapists, both of them happened to mention Dr. Kimberly Castaneda, doctor of naturopathic medicine, at Discovering Wellness. After our conversations, I felt drawn to see if I could get an appointment. On Saturday, I was told appointments were currently eight weeks out, but I could call the scheduler on Monday to see if there were any cancellations. I tried not to worry and trusted if it was God’s will to see her, then I would get an appointment. I called Monday and they had a cancellation; I could come in the next day.
Because I “put my hope solely in the Lord now and always,” I was not shaken by what was revealed at my appointment with Dr. Castaneda. The Live Blood and Dry Layer Cell Analysis showed my red and white blood cells struggling to survive. Discernment paid off, in this condition, I don’t think my blood could have handled another chemo drug. Although, somewhat disturbing to see, there was a medical fascination to the images I saw on the doc’s computer screen. What was unknowingly hidden in the darkness of my blood vessels, light now exposed the truth so appropriate action could be taken.
I have to admit, when I was praying about what to do about all the pain, I also asked God to send someone who would walk me through this. I didn’t feel like I had the energy to figure this out on my own. I appreciate the Internet to obtain so much information within seconds on the keyboard. However, sometimes there is too much information or opinions to sift through and can be downright overwhelming. God answered my prayer and sent me Dr. Castaneda through Motivate Personal Physical Rehabilitation and my friend Barb.
Dr. Castaneda immediately put me on a regime of healing teas and supplements targeting my body at the cellular level. Thank God there are people available that have a deeper wisdom on plant-based items, that God created to heal our bodies! Thank God that I have been juicing and eating healthy these last three+ years; who knows what challenges I would have faced if I didn’t. Those of you that know me personally know how healthy, youthful, and vibrant I look now. No more cataracts either! No wonder I promote smoothies and juicing so much; I want the same good health for you too!
Now I understand how physical pain easily slows you down, hinders your ability to complete tasks, and even drains your energy to help others. One of my therapists from Motivate made the comment after I showed her part of my Live Blood Analysis video, no wonder you are experiencing this pain. Your body is trying to heal at the cellular level, which is putting strain on the muscles, tendons, ligaments, and joints. Your body is trying to protect itself and compensates where it can.
After two weeks on Dr. Castaneda’s regime, I am thrilled to admit, I didn’t hobble as I walked across the church parking lot, plus I had energy for yard work! My body is healing!!! And only after five weeks at Motivate Personal Physical Rehabilitation receiving treatments for chronic neck pain, I noticed my head naturally fell into a normal position as I was driving home. This is significant because for several years now, I have to purposely tilt my chin down to obtain a normal position. My neck muscles were so tight they pulled my head back.
Take Every Thought Captive
It’s challenging enough to deal with pain, but then the battle of the mind tries to infiltrate with the purpose to weaken one’s faith. Based on what the Word of God says, I believe a spiritual aspect in life exists between good and evil. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I sought wisdom from God’s Word. Through the scriptures in the second chapter of Job, God spoke to me and let me know that my battle was a spiritual attack from the enemy of my soul, but my life would not be taken.
God’s spirit also led me to many scriptures that pertained to my situation, insuring my healing, protection, and to put my trust solely in God. I printed those scriptures and posted them on my bathroom mirror. It is my reminder: what God says He will do, He will do. As I memorize them every morning, I want those promises planted deep in my mind, my hope, and my belief system.
So when thoughts of fear come, I speak the scriptures God promised me out loud. “You will live and not die. Think of it the Lord has healed you Julie! I have taken away your sickness and removed your disease…” When pain woke me up every two hours, I whispered the scriptures God promised me.
When I left the hospital this week after visiting a co-worker, the enemy of my soul said while I was walking in the parking lot, “You are going to die.” I verbally replied the scriptures that God promised me. Yes, it looked like I was talking to myself, but that lie needed to be nipped in the bud. As I was making smoothies this week, the evil thought came, “You’re going to look awfully stupid making these, when you die.” I know that garbage is not from God or me…so I continue to speak, trust, and put my faith in God’s Word, God’s promises to me.
I live by the principle found in the Word of God, that anything—including thoughts, that come to steal, kill, or destroy my well-being, or how I think about myself, or anything that involves me or my family, is from the enemy of my soul. I do not have to agree with those poisonous thoughts, believe them, or take ownership of them—and neither do you!
God cares about every detail in your life. He cares about your well-being and your heart’s desires—spoken and unspoken. He loves you so much; He doesn’t speak to you in fear, but in love. Give yourself the gift of time and spend a moment with God seeking His wisdom and guidance. May you have eyes to see the loving hand of God actively move on your behalf. You are deeply loved and important to Him.
“As for God, His way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to Him for protection.”