It was not until my early thirties that I permanently broke free from the prison of low self-worth and self-hatred. One afternoon, my best friend’s husband came to visit me. As we sat across the kitchen table from each other, Pastor Manny helped me break free from my prison cell. He gave me two assignments, two keys, that set me free from low self-worth and self-hatred.
Key Number Two
His next assignment for me, when I was by myself, was to look at my eyes in the mirror and tell myself, “I love you Julie” while noticing the inner beauty God gave me. Those of you that have experienced self-dislike understand how difficult it is to look at yourself in the mirror. As equally tough as this new assignment was, I wanted to be free from the painful grips of self-dislike even more.
I forced myself to look at my eyes every time I passed in front of a mirror. At the same time, I allowed God to speak to my heart as He told me how beautiful I am to Him and to embrace the fact that He loves me very much. Repetition and unconditionally accepting my inner beauty broke my cycle of distaste when looking into a mirror. The mirror was not my enemy any longer. In only a short period of time, I resolved to love and accept myself.
My value was not based on how much I weighed, for at the time I was heavier than my full-term pregnancy weight. It was based on the fact that the God who loves me so much, created me and wanted me here on this earth. “I knew you (Julie) before I formed you in your mother’s womb.”* If God decided I was important, then I needed to adopt that same mindset.
As you grow to appreciate your value, then you want to protect and take good care of yourself. You certainly would desire this for your own children. You deserve equally as much.
*Jeremiah 1:5a Life Application Study Bible